You know you're Scottish when...
1. When a mars bar doesn't contain enough calories so you have to fry it
2. When the men prove they can handle the cold by rejecting trousers
3. When the only acceptable sausage is square
4. When Summer and Winter happen in the same week, but you're still surprised
5. When you learnt Scottish country dancing every year at school
6. When you have a wide vocabulary of Scottish words such as numpty, aye, aye right, auldyin, and baltic
7. When you got Oor Wullie and The Broons annuals at Christmas
8. When you've eaten lots of random Scottish food like mince 'n tatties, Tunnock's Caramel Logs, oat cakes, haggis, cullen skink, Lee's Macaroon Bars and more
9. When you don't go shopping, you "go the messages"
10. When your holiday abroad is ruined when you hear there is a heatwave in Scotland while you're away
11. When Irn Bru is the cure for any illness
12. When your mum told you if you screwed up your face it would stay that way, if the wind changed
13. When the only antidote to a nettle sting is rubbing it with a dock leaf
14. When "cheers"or "ta" is the appropriate way of saying thanks
15. When you call New Year's Eve "Hogmanay" and don't believe that two days of national holiday is
long enough to recover from the partying!
16. When the best James Bond was Sean Connery
17. When you casually tell everyone that if it wasn't for the Scots there would be no telly, penicillin, golf, fax machines, telephones, steam engine, insulin, radar, bicycles, The Chilean Navy, Bank of England, raincoats, cloned sheep, Whisky, postage stamps, refrigerators etc
18. When people ask you if the Loch Ness Monster exists or if the haggis is an animal and you spread the myth further by stating that it's true
19. When the correct term for 'small' is "wee"
20. When there's a golf course within 5
miles of your house and a world class golf course within 40 miles
21. When the only fish acceptable to eat with chips is haddock
22. When you've seen all the classic
Scottish films like Trainspotting, The Wicker Man, Gregory's Girl,
Braveheart, Restless Natives....etc
23. When you know Braveheart isn't historically accurate, but you love it anyway
24. When you played cribbie/kirby/kerby as a child - bouncing balls off kerb sides
25. When a night out always ends in chips and cheese
26. When you're spoilt for amazing white beaches that could be mistaken for Caribbean hideaways in the brochures.
The only problem is it's baltic and you could get hypothermia from just dipping your toes in the water!
27. When your come-back to something you don't believe is "Aye right"
28. When you're surrounded by 284 Scottish Mountain Munros, but you haven't made the effort to climb any of them